Little known facts about Josh Mallinson #1

Everyone loves watching dictators fall. They attend the post-denouncing ceremonies, get loaded like it's Thursday and maybe loot a window display or two. Not in my country. The very people I crushed beneath my iron fist were denied they're freedom celebration because their no good 'liberators' only won on accouna' they were sent by a much more ruthless, fearless, beer swilling and some say 'MacBethish' dictator. That was the day I, Conceasar Saladin, was taken prisoner by Josh Mallinson - history's greatest monster (*As voted on the History Channel webpage).

Joyfully they occupied the capitol. On the 11 0'clock news that night it was announced Mallinson was seizing everyone's assets. All citizens were ordered to put every possesion they own into the waste bin provided and patiently wait on the curb for pick-up. Some citizens resisted, the only thing remaining from their stand a large amount of scattered teeth down a residential avenue. The real world powers, nations that unlike Mallinson's had more to bring to battle then just bolas, became very worried and decided to launch some blitzkrieg of their own.



The world was stunned by the furher's failure. He had been on Time magazine, who else could do it? Luckily, years of attacks on Japan by monster's of varying radioactivity and ancientness resulted in the development of counter measures or 'monster calvary'. Unfortunately (again, for my formerly subjagated) Mallinson can sometimes be described as "unforgiving".


Though the picture is clearly an artist's rendition (that is, artists later added the mosters to an image they had previously added Mallinson) it's clear of the battle's outcome. The world readies 'opperation: ohmyfuck! What'rewethinking?!?!' as Mallinson plans his innaugeral ball. All this and more next time on "Little known facts about Josh Mallinson"

You can read Mal's no-mention of it here.

~ Chris H.

Have a nice day.